**Post Disclaimer**

Below is a little story I wrote for our son, Hayvn. Now some of you might note the silliness of said post. I couldn't agree with you more. But I recently went on a blogging strike cause I was sure that my lack of wit and intelligent observations made me actually an anti-blogger. I mean, who cares about my adventures with my new little son? Not many people, I'm sure.

But, then a very sweet friend of mine freed me when she told me that you can now upload blogs to certain sites that will print them out book style for you to save for all of prosperity. What an idea! I love this... and knowing this, I came to the conclusion that maybe Hayvn would one day want to read all about his first year of life. So suddenly free from the pressure of having to impress you folks, I can now write knowing I only have to impress some future Hayvn...and being his mom, I hope he has some grace for me.

This all being said, I took the soap box away from my husband (periodically) and wrote a little story to Hayvn about how his nickname went from Little Bug to Little Bear on his first camping trip to the High Sierras. His new nickname is so appropriate, that his daddy felt inspired to get a new tattoo for his little man...



Anyway, this is just a warning that most of my posts from now on may be pretty silly, with sentiments that are mostly cheesy...with the exception of Jeremy's public rants. Gotta give the guy some sort of an outlet...

Little Bug Becomes Little Bear

This is the story of how our little Hayvn went from "Little Bug" to "Little Bear" in one short week...



It all started on an early morning in Fresno of all places. Little Bug woke up at the early hour of 5am and was just rearing to go. Go where? Camping! His dad had been filling his ears with wild stories of the High Sierras and Little Bug could barely contain himself when the big morning finally arrived. Today was the day they would drive through Yosemite Valley and up the big ol' Tioga Pass to finally arrive at Silver Lake.

Little Bug was so excited that he often would just fall asleep during his journey...



But as Little Bug and his family came down from Tioga Pass (which is over 11,000 feet up!) Little Bug started to get antsy. Four hours of being content in his car seat was over and it was time for him to get out. Now.

When his family finally pulled into the Silver Lake campground, Little Bug was greeted by new family members. He met his Aunt Sandi, and cousins Brandon and Teddy. He also was greeted by his gramma and pops too. But first things first. After a long drive, Little Bug demanded a meal and some rest before he started exploring the new territory.



After settling in, Little Bug started sight seeing...extensively. There was so much to see. There were trees he'd never met, flowers he'd never smelt and a lake shore he'd never come across in his whole life. He just couldn't believe it. Little Bug was so in love with all he saw, that he deemed blinking a completely useless past time. Who had time for blinking?! Certainly not Little Bug.









But as the time went on and his non-blinking continued through much of his days, Little Bug began to see the error of his ways. Each night, as the sun began to set, Little Bug began to cry and wiggle and just make himself miserable with his new non-blinking rule. But, bless his heart, he just couldn't stop himself from looking. Even while he took a meal, his favorite part of any day, Little Bug's little eyes darted in every direction. As his crying increased and his wiggling got the best of him, his mama and daddy pleaded with their Little Bug to please calm down. But he just couldn't. And his crying got so bad, that Little Bug was no longer a little bug. He grew into a little BEAR! Growling and snarling like he'd never growled or snarled before. Little Bear's parents had no choice but to try to tame the little beast. They reached for the first thing they could find--Little Bear's blanket--and quickly tethered him around his wiggling little head. Little Bear, finally forced to tear his eyes away from the outside, was calmed, and his tired eyes finally closed and his growling finally silenced. Poor Little Bear.



When Little Bear woke up each morning, his non-blinking continued, but his parents had finally mastered the art of blanket-diversion in order to calm Little Bear's growling and snarling. Ah, Little Bear. We're gonna miss our Little Bug, but we embraced our new Little Bear and his non-blinking ways...



Besides, we know that deep down inside of you our Little Bug lives on...

Land of orphan couches

Every year around this time San Luis becomes the home to thousands of orphans...Lost, displaced, and lonely. Couches and recliners left broken-hearted on the corners of this great city. You might ask yourself, "How is this happening in my town?" But there is no easy answer.

People who suck: don't stop for pedestrians

It is now common for me to approach cross-walks with apprehension, why? Because people suck. They think solely of themselves...not the family with a newborn trying to cross the road who's legal right it is to cross, that right which trumps the rights of the driver who clearly can't see said family or refuses to look in our direction as they very nearly plow through my brood...well wife and child. So I Herby declare that the next oblivious driver shall receive a b.o.b. stroller imprint on their passenger side door and hopefully a pant leg full of hidy-ho...of course Sarah will have to be holding Hayvn for this to work....on second thought I think I'll clap loudly and yell "Hey! Nice job! good one!" Whilst Higuera st. shoppers look on at me, hopefully shaking their heads at the crappy driver and not the chubby guy making an ass of himself by yelling at passing cars. The best part? If you don't look in our direction while you nearly drive though us, WE MUST NOT BE THERE! Can anyone help me think of a creative way to teach these drivers their lesson? For reals...I need real fun suggestions....

When It Don't Come Easy

Yesterday little bug and I were driving to the bakery to deliver Jeremy some lunch. It was Sunday and he had a wedding cake to get out. As we were coming through Shell Beach the trusted ipod put on shuffle played Patty Griffin's "When it Don't Come Easy" from her album Impossible Dream. Now, I've never thought it was just coincidence that this album was released the exact month we got married. I remember its release because, since Patty is one of my favorites, we picked up her new CD on its release date while on our honeymoon in Ashfield, North Carolina. I remember liking the new album a lot, but not really loving it for the probably the first year I listened to it. Then, as Jeremy and I were nearing our 1st anniversary, I suddenly LOVED the album, especially the song "When it Don't Come Easy". I knew without a doubt, that the song was OUR song.

As I listened to the song closely yesterday while little bug dreamed away in the backstreet, the lyrics hit me once again. In the past 4 years I've listened to that song during all different seasons of our marriage--some good and some trying--and there are always different parts of the song that speak to me in different ways to match the season. This is the power of music for me and why I'll always be a lover of lyrics. Anyway, what struck me yesterday where these lines:

"I don't know nothing except change will come
Year after year what we do is undone
Time keeps moving from a crawl to a run
I wonder if we're gonna ever get home

You're out there walking down a highway
And all of the signs got blown away
Sometimes you wonder if you're walking in the wrong direction

But if you break down
I'll drive out and find you
If you forget my love
I'll try to remind you
And stay by you when it don't come easy"

Patty's words make some powerful statements to me when I think about my marriage, especially in our current season of trying to take care of an infant, learn how to be parents and face an uncertain future. Yesterday, while tearing up over this beautiful song and all it represents for me, it hit me like a ton of bricks how lucky I am to have someone willing to find me and save me. And Jeremy does these acts everyday in ways he doesn't even realize. He finds me when he looks at me and sees how tired I am from getting up with our little love all night and he saves me when he takes our wiggling worm of a son and tells me to go lay down to rest for a bit.

Jeremy and I are entering the "All the signs got blown away" season again...and while I'm not gonna sit here and paint a picture of our perfect marriage (there is no such thing), I am going to say that while things are hard and we don't always like each other like we should, I find a tremendous amount of solace and comfort when I look across the sofa and see my sweet husband's sleepy face staring back at me. Maybe it's the fact that I know he's tired too...or that he's the only person who really knows what I feel when Hayvn smiles at me because he feels it too. I know we've only got 4 years of this marriage thing under our belt, and that's really nothing. But in these 4 years we've faced some challenges that have pushed our marriage and our selves in some very difficult ways. But looking back now, I'm thankful for every challenge. I love our shared history. And I love knowing that no matter what, we've got a shared future too.

But in all honesty, I wish he'd shave the beard.

Family Fun Fair Day

We took little bug for his first trip to the Mid-State Fair. As most know who attend this ruckus yearly romp, the Mid-State Fair is not for the faint of heart. It's a lotta people (who are colorful to say the least), a lotta food (most of which is deep fried....deep fried nutter butter anyone?), a lotta lights, a lotta noise, and a lotta livestock. While we're not annual attenders, we have been known to partake in our fair share of fried delights and take a few strolls through the sheep pins. This year we decided to tag along with our friends the Broyles and the Browns to attend Kids' Day. It was a lot of fun. Little bug had a great time...well as good a time as any two monther could. He enjoyed most of the fair from the comfortable views of his car seat. While he didn't say much, you could tell he was soaking in all the cultural delights of the fair as the kid barely blinked all day. Sleep finally overtook him as we made our way through the nosiest part of the fair--the rides. As roller coasters whizzed overhead and children screamed from all directions, little bug fell into a peaceful little slumber. go figure.

Anyway, our big day at the Mid-State Fair resulted in the funnest family photo ever...and let's be honest, this ain't no Sears family portrait..these are Mid-State Fair faces for sure.

Apparently, My Son is Not Advanced

On Monday Hayvn turns 2 months old, so this past week we had our 2 month appointment with good ol' Dr Bravo. We love Dr Bravo. All in all the appointment went really well. Our little bug is up to 9lbs, 4 oz (that's almost 4 pounds in 8 weeks!). Dr. Bravo thinks he's doing perfect, but even more important, Dr. Bravo thinks he's the cutest little guy ever (at least this is what he says and I believe him). We got some shots, which, while they were hard for bug were also pretty hard on mamma. Probably not good for us both to cry, but I didn't want the little one to cry alone.

Anyway, once again another doctor appointment finds us being scored. Only 2 months old and Hayvn's already being judged against his peers. Well, little bug, while gaining perfect weight (over an ounce a day!), was told that he falls in the 10th percentile for weight. This bascially means that 90% of other 2 monthers are bigger than him. humph. he also falls in the 5th percentile for the size of his head and 25th percentile for his height. These are not impressvie numbers apparently.

Lucky for me, my son was born a preemie. Normally, being the woman that I am, I would be worried over figures such as these. I would be wondering what I'm doing wrong that's making my son so small. But, since having him early in a "need to get him out now" kind of experience, I've really had to let go of expectations. He's a unique one, my son. And he does stuff on his own terms. As I said before, my son is not advanced. BUT he is healthy, happy and, to quote Dr Bravo, the cutest thing ever. As he starts to smile more and more, i fall more in love with my little perfect man. He's teaching me to put down the baby book with all its 'milestone' garbage and let my Hayvn be Hayvn--sans the pressure to be some amazing baby who does everything early. He'll let me know when he's ready to giggle, hold his head up and sleep longer than 2 hours at a time. And I'm alright with this.

oh, but if one more stranger tells me how tiny my baby is, I'm going to punch them in the throat.





Our son falling in the love with the outdoors